Lemme tell you all a brief funny story.
Back when I was a teenager, I was having some light metrorrhagia. Which means sometimes I bled a little bit outside of my menstrual period. Not much, just a little bit.
I knew periods tend to be a bit messed up in teenagers, but the occasional spotting bothered me, so I went to see a gyno, who was recommended to me by my girlfriend at the time.
The gyno was a young woman, looked like the was on her late 20s or her early 30s, so she wasn’t some old-timer with deep-ingrained horrible prejudices. But she was lesbophobic as fuck, regardless. Only at the time I didn’t realize that, because I was really young and fucking naive. Point is, the woman was terribly uncomfortable by the presence of a naked teenage fuzzy-legged lesbian on her table. Troughout the whole appointlent she kept talking about how hetero she was. She talked about her boyfriend and about how much she liked men. She bantered about how she didn’t understand how can a woman be a lesbian when dick is so good. She assured me that she never ever even thought about feeling attracted to another woman, not even a little bit, because she was 100% heterosexual no homo not even a bit of homo.
I didn’t even know the word “lesbophobia” back then, and on my naked-and-laying-on-a-metal-table position, I didn’t feel like arguing with the woman who I was paying to poke around my vagina. I remember just thinking she was terribly insecure.
Until the gave me my diagnosis.
She said I wasn’t normal. That I was “hormonally imbalanced” and “masculinized” and “hirsute”, and that if I didn’t do something about it RIGHT NOW it would just get worse and worse and by the time I was 40 I would have male pattern balding and full-blown chest hair. And also that I’d die of cancer, diabetes, heart disease and have a stroke all at the same time. She then recommended me a very high dose of estradiol. Y’know estradiol, right? The shit they give post-menopausal women and that they use for HRT on trans women. That stuff. Not even contraceptives, just straight up estradiol. Because I wasn’t feminine enough, and it HAD to be fixed.
She also wanted me to take another medication to reduce my body hair. She was really freaked out about my body hair, said it was “abnormal” and that “no one would want to date me”. She appeared to be specially disgusted by the slightly coarser, darker fuzz around my nipples and my bellybutton. I had the good sense to refuse to take this one.
I did take the estradiol for two years though, believing that I would fucking die or at least become a balding, hairy man if I did not. The gyno said it was likely that I would have to take hormones for the rest of my fertile lifetime, and I was pretty much resigned to that. But then the side effects started, and it was MY turn to freak out.
First of all, I’ve always been pretty flat-chested. I have small boobs. I had them even smaller before, but few months after I got on hormones they pretty much DOUBLED their size, and that shit freaked me out to a level I didn’t expect. It was like I had some sort of alien growth on my chest, it was like they were not mine, they were not supposed to be there. I did not want them. I did not like one bit the way the medication altered my body, but on my follow-up appointments, the gyno said my discomfort was normal, because it was like a “second puberty” and now I was finally going to be a woman. On the following months I also experienced several problems on my digestive system, some fucked-up mood swings, migraines, muscle cramps and frequent outbursts of candidiasis. Worst part, it didn’t even help with my periods, it just made them heavier, and also gave me painful cramps that lasted for days.
But I kept taking that shit - through intramuscular, oily injections that made me dizzy and nauseated on the day I took them - for two years. Because my doctor said I should, and doctors know what they’re talking about, right?
Eventually I ended up in the hospital because of my digestive system problems. Not gonna go into much detail, but after three different doctors probing my asshole, a lot of different medication that didn’t work and a ton of exams that just let to them saying “eh, we don’t know WTF is happening to your guts”, I thought that maybe. MAYBE. I should lay off the hormones. I had researched a little bit and hey, turns out that too much estrogen in your system does fuck up a lot of things!
Long story short, I’ve been off estradiol for a few years now, and I can poop normally again. Also, I have normal periods. And my boobs shrunk a little, but not to their original size, and it still feels weird as fuck to have them.
Further research also showed me that pumping a fuckton of hormones on a teenage girl because she “looks manly” is absolutely horrible. Also, my unknown vaginal bleeding at the time should’ve been another reason to NOT take hormones, because it could be a condition that could be made worse by extra female hormone in my system. That gyno was terribly irresponsible.
But above all, she was terribly lesbophobic. Because she saw a gender non-conforming young lesbian and her first priority was not her health and well-being, but making her more feminine and socially acceptable.
And you guys still wonder WHY I’m wary as fuck about this whole medical transition thing? Wonder why the idea of teenagers being put on hormones makes me want to flip my desk? Yeah, there surely are doctors who are not gonna work based on their own prejudices, but how are you gonna know? I didn’t. I was too young and too ignorant and honestly believed this doctor was doing what was best for me.
I mean, yeah, this is just a personal anecdote. But I wonder, how many GNC girls can a single lesbophobic doctor screw over? And how did we get to a point where we apparently forgot that hormones are fucking serious and can seriously fuck up your body? Feels pretty hard to trust another gyno after that. Or the medical industry as a whole.